… and why I’m ok with it.
(you may remember this photo…)
Wouldn’t it be awesome to live in an episode of Leave It To Beaver? You know, the perfect like world with the perfect parents. Or maybe Mayberry? I sure would love to have Aunt Bee watching out for me.
Oh wait! This isn’t a scripted TV show. We don’t live in suburbia with the Beaver and I could have never handled having Barney Fife around all the time.
It’s time to get real.
1) My kids know the words to ‘Sexy And I Know It’ – Yeah, I downloaded it. Party Rock Anthem too. They also know a great song about Kelly Ripa. They sing them all, bouncing around the house and shaking their little booties. I’m fine with it. They are just words. We, the adults, give the words power.
2) I use the TV as a baby sitter. At least I try to. – Sometimes I need a minute to myself. Be it to finish something for work, grab a bite to eat or just breathe in silence. You can bet your last dollar that I will attempt to get them sucked into something on TV so I can have a moments peace. I watched plenty of TV as a kid and I’m just fine. Neither of them would choose TV over a more interesting activity – actually neither of them are huge fans of the TV – despite my repeated efforts.
3) I let my kids eat junk. Sometimes, I let them eat a lot of it. – Everything in moderation. It’s not just for adults. I make sure they have plenty or protein, veggies, calcium and what not too, but every kid deserves to munch some Cheetos or lollipop. I’ve even been known to let them have the occasional pixy stix!
4) Sometimes we skip teeth brushing before bed. – Yes, dental hygiene… I know. I’ve heard it. I’ve also had cavities and lived to tell about it. Not that I want my kids to have cavities, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy to fight them.
5) I yell. A lot. – Despite medication, my anxiety gets the best of me. Sometimes, it’s not anxiety so much as my 5 year old’s love of button-pushing that does it. They yell, why can’t I? I’m the adult, blah, blah. I say the same thing to my husband all the time. But, adult or not, we are all human and we all have our limits. Sometimes I hit mine.
6) PG-13 means nothing to me. – My five year old asked to see Men In Black 3 and I took her. The inappropriate parts? I didn’t make a big deal about them and they shot right over her head. This kind of goes back to #1 – I try not to hide the world from them.
7) I’m not above bribery. – I want my kids to listen to me. I need my kids to listen to me. I’m the parent, but somehow my kids don’t see that. So, sometimes I resort to bribery. It works. Sometimes.
8) I ignore my children in favor of technology. – Yes, I do. I work on the computer. My real job, the one that pays. Sometimes they’re around when I’m doing that and sometimes I need them to leave me alone. Sometimes, I just want to read a chapter of 50 Shades of Grey on my Kindle. So shoot me.
9) I jeopardize my children’s safety. – Well, I don’t personally think I do, but others would accuse me of it. My 5 year old – in a booster since she was 3. My 3 year old boy, in a booster. Vaccines? The girl has had them all aside from CPox and MMR. The boy – he hasn’t had a single one. Judge away. I’m ok with it.
10) I lie. A lot. – My 5 year old is very inquisitive. She likes to ask questions that don’t have answers. She doesn’t give up. Sometimes I play along, answering as best I can until I satisfy her and sometimes I just don’t have it in me. So, I lie. I make up some crazy answer to her question that leaves her speechless. If you can dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
So, there you have it. 10 Reasons why I’m a crappy parent. Or, at least 10 reasons other people may think I’m a crappy parent.
Personally, I think I’m doing just fine.