Hair or No Hair
Do you remember the first time you shaved? I don’t particularly remember my first time and I’m not even sure I could if I tried. I know I went from legs to armpits to bikini to my lip (lip is new, I hate getting old).
However, I know exactly when my girl shaved for the first time. March 13th, 2010. She was 9.75 years old. (It’s funny how we document everything now a day.)
I have seen mixed reviews on when a girl should start shaving. Some mommies argue we don’t want them to feel bad about their bodies so we don’t want them to think they HAVE to shave. Some mommies argue we don’t want to sexualize them too young by making them think they have to be clean shaven.
Bottom line is my girl had been asking to shave for a while and I kept putting her off. She wanted to do it because her hair was dark and somewhat thick for a 9 year old. (Much darker and heavier than mine at her age.) One day she comes home from school and says the boys on the bus were making fun of her hairy legs. Ok, here we go. Let’s get it gone ’cause I am not having my child made fun of.
She was an easy student. We originally bought a razor with a guard so she couldn’t cut herself. After about a year she went to a real razor and she has shed very little blood (I think I probably cut my ankles more than she does, but this is because I am always in a hurry.)
Then there was the issue with the eyebrows. Let me just say she has been plucking the unibrow since she was about 7. But the rest of her brows were enormous – drove me crazy but I didn’t say a word. I had determined that until she made a comment about her hair I am not saying anything – I don’t want to be the bad mom who makes her feel bad about her body!!!!! So one day she comes home from a sleep over and I realize she has plucked her eyebrows. They look great! Her girlfriend helped her. I didn’t ask what brought it about. Did the friend convince her to do it or did she want to do it? But, it looks so much better. She maintains her eyebrows pretty good, much better than her prickly legs.
Remember I said she is pretty hairy? Well I get a text message one evening while she is at her father’s for her weekly visit and she wants to know if she can wax her back. Can we say NO, NO, NO!!!! First of all who is going to even see your back (We are talking about the spot where you might find a tramp stamp, yes it is very hairy). Is this really an issue for you at 12.5 or has someone suggested you do it? Let’s just say I am the mom and I am the one who needs to deal with my child’s personal hygiene. This is a 12.5 year old who needs to be raised and taught and nurtured.
When she got home the next day we discussed it. She said it really bothered her and she wanted it off for summer. Ok, then when it is summer we will discuss it. I’m not going to force her to live with something bothering her. I also realize society has expectations and although we are free to do what we want, let’s not keep all the hair to prove a point while making us feel subconscious. To each his own, but this baby is my own.
Thinking back I don’t even remember asking to shave, I think I just did it.
(Please don’t tell my daughter.)