Tonight, the door closes on 2015 and we get to spend the next 3 or 4 weeks crossing out a 5 for a 6 every time we write the date. Gyms will be packed, people will make promises to themselves about this or that and by March or so, everything will be settled back to life as it is right now. Regular gym goer’s will rejoice at the idea of not fighting for a parking space and people will start to realize they have already let those resolutions start slipping… and that is ok!
Only the closest of my friends and confidants know the hellacious roller coaster ride that my life has been since 2013. Separation, divorce, moving (not once, not twice, but three times!), struggling financially to make it all work, looking for love again… all things that have been a big part of my existence. I tend to keep most of it off of the site because listening to me whine about how hard it’s all been isn’t why you come here. That being said, I encourage you all to skip those silly resolutions that everyone makes, yet no one keeps, and make one resolution with me. Before I tell you what that is, here’s are five resolutions I won’t make this year:
Lose weight – I’m not skinny. I will never be skinny. I am comfortable in my own skin (most days) and I don’t see a reason to change that.
Spend Less, Save More – Divorce equals debt. That’s the end of the story. Even if I do spend less (and I don’t spend much now), it won’t be saved but will instead go toward paying off debt.
Learn Something Exciting – I have dabbled in so many things over the years, yet there are very few I’ve stuck with. Instead of learning something new and exciting, I’m going to try to revisit some of my “once was” hobbies and see if I can re-ignite the spark that made me pick the up in the first place.
Get Organized – My life is chaotic. It has been for a long time, and will probably continue to be. I am organized in some aspects and completely scattered in others. To be honest, I kind of like it that way.
Spend Time With Family – OK, I’ll admit that one seems a little selfish. Here’s the deal though. While we may want to see our family more, it’s not always as easy as just wanting it. There are schedules (mine and theirs) to take into account and making it work is hard enough without adding pressure.
Now, back to that resolution I want you to make with me. It may seem selfish when you first hear it, but give it a chance. I want your only resolution to be Do Whatever Makes Me Most Happy. Bam! Yes, I am telling you all to put what everyone else thinks aside and do what you need to do for you All.Year.Long. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, or maybe it’s some clarity I found through the divorce process, but either way I have realized that you cannot and should not live your life and make your choices based on what is better for everyone else and constantly put yourself and your happiness on the back burner.
Putting yourself on the back burner will wear you down, it will kill who you are. Don’t lose yourself by letting other people tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.
If you can’t commit to the idea of doing this for a year, dial it back. Try it for just one week. See how if feels. If you feel good about it, go for week 2. No matter how long you set out to test the waters, make sure you stick to it and do what makes you happy, not what makes everyone else happy.
You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else.