To pierce or not to pierce?

So my baby girl turned 13 in June and I now have a teenager.  What did she want for her birthday?  Her belly button pierced.  “Uh, NOOOOOOOOO”

She informed me she had polled all her aunts, uncles, father and several of his friends.  It was a mixed decision but several people said yes, including her father.  She also did research on the internet to see if other 13 year olds get their belly buttons pierced.  She called the piercing place and asked if she could get it at 13 with parental consent and they said yes.

So I said “I will think about it” and I would take it to the mommies (an online forum for mommies to get advice and such from other mommies).

First step was really thinking it through and all the pros and cons.  Next step was asking her father why he said yes.  He said “what harm is there”.  Has he forgotten he has a GIRL!!!!  Does he realize piercing the belly can be conceived as SEXUAL?  I was shocked but then again it just reiterates – things.  Then I am concerned he will do it behind my back – which I seriously doubt but there is still the thought.

Then I take it to the Mommies!!!!!!  I created a poll and I got 132 votes

9 or 6% YESSomething Wild

123 or 93% NO

The questions was “would you let your 13 Year old daughter get her belly button pierced”

There were some very interesting comments and ideas presented.  Many mommies who have piercings and tattoos and got them early actually said NO.  The interesting thing was the reasons not to do it were not deep. Where as the YES and even some who said NO but may consider, had more compelling responses as to why it was ok.   Just for full disclosure I have my belly pierced (not this picture) but I got mine done at the age of 41 LOL.

The hardest thing I struggled with was the perception of what people would think.  Then my daughter nailed me because she said you teach me not to worry what people think and to be my own person but now you are saying no because you are afraid of what people will think.  UGH!

But there where so many other reasons which were hard to explain to a 13 year old who desperately wanted this done.

–But I must say because this issue came up in the forum:  She is responsible to keep it clean and she is mature for her age.–

But in the end I said “NO.  We will think about and revisit next year when you are closer to going to high school.  Plus spring is a better time to do it.”

She was not happy at all.  Said she would be sooooo happy if I let her and I was a terrible mom for not making her happy.  Ugh the heart strings but I don’t give a care – I said NOOOOOOOO.

 

Momma Juli

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2 Responses to To pierce or not to pierce?

  1. MommaLaura says:

    It is so hard at this age, I was a terrible 13 year old so I can only imagine what life is going to be like when my daughter is that age. Really this is one of those no win situations. I think you did the right thing by letting her know that you aren’t saying no just that you would like her to wait. Yes she is mad but other then doing it when she wants you can’t help that. I remember when my parents did this with me and while at the time I thought they were “so mean” or “the worse parents in the world”. Now as an adult I respect them for setting boundaries and sticking to them. We can’t always be our kids best friends.

    • Momma Juli says:

      It seems these days moms are either their best friends and give them everything or they are very strict and allow nothing. Which neither way raises a responsible adult, unfortunately. There is a happy medium and I try with all my might to balance the scales.

      I also learned how my parents RULES and DECISIONS were for my best interest.

      Thanks for the support.

      Momma Juli

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