I had a very poignant question posed to me today…
Would you relive 2011?
Wow, what a question! Half of me wants to scream ‘No!’ but the rational half says ‘Of course I would!’ This year certainly hasn’t been roses and sunshine, but most aren’t. My husband would call me ‘negative’, but I prefer to think of myself as realistic. I don’t expect the roses and sunshine. Sure, the roses are awesome when they’re in bloom (speaking of, mine are still blooming and it’s nearly January!) and I love to see the sun when it shines, but I refuse to tell myself that I will see the sun every day or that I will always have a chance to stop and smell the roses. Life doesn’t work that way. At least not for me.
This year, like most, has been a series of mistakes, disappointments and short-comings. I’ve walked away from friendships, made mistakes I can’t undo, and failed myself in regards to many of my goals. I’ve lost the person I thought I’d found somewhere along the way. I’ve cried more days than I can count, yelled more than any parent should and over-committed myself time and time again.
But there was good in there too. I’ve watched my little girl start to get a handle on her emotions (a problem we’ve dealt with for a while now), been amazed as my little guy has really turned into a little person (complete with tantrums, sleeping issues and a complete range of likes and dislikes) and learned a lot about what’s really important. As much pain and regret as I’ve seen, I’d take it all not to miss these moments.
Would I do it again? Absolutely.